Archive | April 2012

Running Back to Basics & Avoiding the Chaos

So after a hefty hiatus, I’m back! Hopefully, I’ll be more consistent with my updates now that I’ve got my handy, dandy ipad. I’ve spent the majority of my off-blogging time caught up staying afloat in my classes.

This week I’ve been a little weirded out by old “friends” coming back to haunt me. When I was younger I spent a lot of my time making sure I spent quality time with all of my friends, to the point of personal exhaustion. As I’ve gotten older, I have TOTALLY reevaluated the importance of alone time. Not that I have anything particularly important to do, but I would like the opportunity to lay around like a sack of potatoes if I wish to. As I spent more quality time with myself, figuring out my identity and what I wanted in life, my view of certain people shifted. Well, I should say people who hold certain personality characteristics. Rarely….rarely…can I keep my mouth shut if someone is just spewing nonsense everywhere. My mom has tried to pass down her mastery of ignoring others, but I was never able to pick it up. I’m a firm believer that whatever you put out in the world is what you deserve to get back. So arguments with pals are bound to come up. I’ll admit I didn’t always play fair, but now-a-days I tend to avoid ultimatums unless absolutely necessary. Usually bringing up something that bothers me in a non-confrontational way works just fine. However, there are those moments when you have a all out brawl. Now how in the world do you come back from that? I’ve always seemed to be able to hold on to grudges longer than others, but is that so horrible? I don’t think its such a terrible thing to have a defined sense of right and wrong, of justice. So when two friends go without talking for months after a serious argument, the friendship is over right? Or so I thought. When someone approaches you with apologies and promises of change, how is someone supposed to react? Well, my reaction with surprisingly…lukewarm. You know when you’ve been waiting for a text all freaking day long, so every ping gets you leaping off the couch, but when you get to your phone its not the message you were waiting for? Yup, that’s the feeling I got when I look to see five pages of blah, blah, blah. On the one hand, obviously on some base level anything anyone has to say is important. People want to feel as though they’ve been heard and respected. On the other hand I have been so wrapped up in doing what I want to do for a change that I really didn’t have a second to remember you existed. So how do I relay, “thanks, but no thanks” to your heartfelt novel without seeming like a huge jackass? One of these awkward besties interventions is enough, but multiples? Time to bake. So stay tuned for my trying-to-forget-you treats!